I am so very tired....

of fighting insurance companies, getting doctor's appointments that don't conflict with my partner's schedule and trying to figure out how to pay for the physical therapy that the insurance company says is not necessary. I am also paying people to come and clean, and do laundry and all the projects I wanted to get done myself before fall hit. Not much this summer is what I had on my schedule.

Cancer, my friends, can ruin that time of year when gardens get put in, painting gets done, camping trips happen, and the grill is the primary utensil for making food nearly every night. Instead of putting fish on the grill, here I sit with my leg propped up so as to keep the swelling down. Without the lymph nodes they took out, all the proteins and fluids are stuck and making me look like the elephant man touched my leg and gave me that hideous disease that scared the millions who saw him. NONE of my normal shoes fit and my crocs are starting to get a bit too tight as well.

Today I had to hire to a trainer to help me get my body moving again. More money that should be paid by the insurance company but isn't. It should not be called health insurance. It should be called, "only if we feel like it might contribute to your health insurance".

So, if any of you who never read this little piece happen to know how to get Live Strong, The American Cancer Society, The State of Oregon, or god forbid the Good old USA to help out with all these bills, and the ones yet to come for the poison they want to pump in me to make sure the beasties don't come back, please let me know. I could use some help from Franklin, Grant, Washington and Lincoln.

Let's face it, I'm tired and I believe I'll have another scotch and some painkillers and fall asleep in this chair so I can do it all over again tomorrow.

Bright side to my day... finding nearly every missing issue of Shaman's Tears at the comic book store and the bagel dog at Noah's. Little things, at this juncture in my life, are pretty precious.